Are you your own worst enemy? Self-sabotage can undermine or even destroy your personal and professional credibility, your self-esteem and your confidence.

Self-sabotage exists in varying degrees, from people who are so destructive that nothing ever goes right for them (much less for anyone around them), to those who display self-sabotaging behavior only once in a while. On the far end of the spectrum are people who show some form of self-sabotage, recognize it and make a concentrated effort to avoid repeating the specific behavior.

When the going gets tough

It’s not difficult to spot the signs of self-sabotage. If you’ve ever gone through a difficult time, you have probably experienced all or some of these reactions: self-doubt, paranoia, blame, low confidence, a sense of failure, and a feeling that you’re a victim. The phrase “If only I had done this” or “Why is this happening to me?” is internalized and sometimes vocalized. Everyone hears voices— those inner, self-effacing voices that are usually so subtle you barely recognize them. Yet when times are rough, it can seem as if someone is shouting in your ear at close range.

By identifying, dealing with and stopping self-sabotaging behavior, you will transition to a new you—a better you—and one who routinely gives herself permission and freedom to make mistakes and grow from them.